C heaters never prosper, but they can certainly break your heart. When you hear stories about cheating, it usually seems pretty obvious who's in the wrong. But people are complicated, and so is infidelity. A partner who steps out on you may have any number of reasons for doing so. They could be feeling neglected. They could have feelings of unworthiness from childhood that compel them to avoid intimacy. They could have an addiction to sex. They could do it simply because they want to, and they think they can get away with it. Do any of these explanations help soften the blow of being cheated on? No, probably not.
Even when you don't have all the answers, you probably at least know this: Getting cheating on hurts. A partner's infidelity may not reflect on your worth as a partner or person, but it can definitely make you feel pretty alone
Over the course of my career as a dating writer, I’ve heard a lot of truly heart-wrenching tales — stories about hurtful lies, brutal breakups, and of course, betrayal. Undoubtedly, some of the most difficult to read are the stories about exes cheating. At times, it’s the way someone found out that makes me cringe. Other times, it’s who they cheated with that makes it particularly devastating. Or, occasionally, what really gets me it’s what the cheater said — or didn’t say — when confronted about their behavior.
Regardless, the stories that stick out in mind are the ones that involve unapologetic partners, repeat betrayals, and traumatic discoveries. A friend of my mother’s realized her ex-husband had been cheating on her with her BFF for a full year when she found receipts for all the lavish gifts he was buying her. Meanwhile, my Bestie found out her ex had been unfaithful when she overheard another girl talking about her amazing sex life with the very same guy at a college party. Another girlfriend came to terms with her SO’s infidelity when a notification about his new Tinder matches popped up on his phone.
There’s no doubt that being cheated on is one of the worst possible human experiences one can have, because it can not only shatter your trust but also take a serious toll on your self-esteem. And some situations truly stand out among the rest. Here is some stories of how some got cheated on. cheating that are sure to leave you shock.
01
They'd been seeing her the whole time.
Last summer, I started seeing someone who I'd been crushing on for a while. Before we hooked up, I knew he had been seeing another girl, so I was a little suspicious. But he told me that they had broken it off and that he wasn't with her anymore. After the summer, he moved down to Austin for work. We definitely weren't exclusive, but I thought we were still kind of a 'thing.' I was at my job one day when I looked at Instagram and saw a pic of them together in Austin — like, living together in Austin. I realized that he had been with her the whole time. He had been seeing me in the time in between her moving to Austin and him following suit.
— Chloe, 27
02
They told me they wanted to break up.
A few years ago, my ex and I went to dinner with a big group of our friends. I realized my boyfriend was kind of flirting with a mutual friend of ours that neither of us had seen in a while. I didn't think all that much of it, but it was a little weird. A few weeks later, he told me he had been seeing her and wanted to break up so he could be with her. It was so hard and tore the whole friend group apart.
— Mia, 24
03
I learned that they were married with kids.
When I studied abroad in Rome, I was really feeling myself and was on Tinder a lot. I hooked up with a couple of super cute dudes. But then I found someone I thought I could really fall in love with. We went out to these amazing meals, and to concerts and museums and held hands in the street while eating gelato. When I had to leave, he offered to drive me back to the airport. I got in his car, and I saw that he had two car seats in the back. Two. It turns out he was married with children.
— Tiana, 25
04
They sent me a text meant for someone else.
I found out my ex was cheating on me when she accidentally sent me a text asking to 'meet up while in the bathroom' of this party that we were at together. It literally said, 'Allie always goes home early, she'll never know.' If only I didn't know. If only.
— Allie, 21
05
I found a stack of love letters.
I once went to visit my long-distance boyfriend, and he went to work, and I was in his apartment alone. I'm kind of a neat freak and was trying to tidy up the place when I found that he had a bunch of love letters from a bunch of different long-distance girlfriends. I read, like, two letters from one girl and got the picture.
— Hunter, 23
06
I found them in our bed with another person.
I came home from work early one night and found my boyfriend of five years in our bed with another girl. They didn't see me come in, so I quietly left and just completely cut him out of my life without saying anything to him. I deleted his number and blocked him on every social media platform. Thank god I had another place to stay for a while and friends to get all of my stuff from our apartment.
— Aimee, 27
There's no way around it: Cheating can be heartbreaking. Whether you find out your boo has been lying to you or realize something shady has been going on, infidelity can be super disorienting. Of course, only you and your boo know the ins and outs of your relationship. If you both want to work through infidelity, you know what's right for you. Whether you block their number or talk through it all, living your truth means never cheating yourself.
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