A Daughter's Joy

 

Reconnecting with an estranged father can be a challenging moment in any person's life. Often, separation from a father can be loaded with emotional baggage. Whether father and child were estranged because of a divorce or other marital separation; physical, sexual, or emotional abuse; parental alienation; or whether the child ran away, reuniting with the father is a common desire, but could be fraught with emotional peril.

Preparing emotionally for a reunion is a critical first step. The child, even if they are now an adult, needs to carefully think through the implications of a reunion and needs to plan carefully for the initial contact and the first meeting.  

I'm Asantewaa and I'm here to share with you how I met my dad after 20years 3months of losing contact with him.

I am not quite too sure if you have ever felt like you have lost everything you valued and cherished in your life. That feeling of having your family ripped apart and living with a daily fear of not being able to see my father ever again became my reality as a 15-year-old girl. Unlike many young adults my age, I know the feeling when the walls around your feel like they are crumbling down and your world collapses. This is the reality of parent-child abduction which leads me onto my story.

I came from a childhood where my mother had several issues which consequently lead to my parent’s divorce . As a young child, the prospect of a broken family felt like my worst nightmare. Due to my mother’s condition and freak incidents my father was forced out of his region with fear for his freedom. Looking back now this was the starting point to abduction and loss of freedom to see my dad, lasting around 20years, 3months. It all felt like I had been transported into a movie which I couldn’t escape.

During the years of  abduction I was taken around several homes  and eventually ended up in the eastern part of Ghana. To add to the loss of freedom I wasn’t allowed to go to school since my mother was worried that my father would find me there. I wasn’t allowed to leave my flat without my mother. It felt like a prison. I couldn’t escape all I could do was hope my father would come to find me. To add to this, due to my mother’s condition I was extremely traumatized emotionally which lead me to nearly to do the unthinking. Thank God I didn’t.

In what seems like darkness there was a glimmer of hope was my stepdad's friend who revealed the secret to me that he's not my real dad. My uncle met my dad in city side of Ghana and exchanged contacts. All I truly desired was to be reunited with my father whom I had an amazing relationship with and whom I had longed and prayed to see. By hoping and praying to see him one day.

I can still remember when I was rescued like yesterday, the arms of the loving father that surrounded me I can recall even now at the age of 22. . Eventually, my father obtained full custody of me and I was able to return to life of a normal young girl with parents. I can’t tell you how it felt to be coming back home to normal life! During this whole time, my father was in contact with my uncle who gave just incredible support, advice and motivation that we all needed. My dad wouldn’t have been able to do this without my uncle's help.

Dad And Daughter's Reunion

Having gone through a serious trauma the journey to recovery did not come easy. I suffered a lot from anxieties, self-confidence and panic attacks for a lot of my early years back.  I had to rebuild my life back from nothing, stone by stone.

Sitting here now writing this from a position being healed and fully myself again which took a total of 5-10 years. I am now in the process of becoming an communication officer with degrees from some of the best universities in the world. 

If you had asked the little 9months-old girl what future was in front of her, she would never have believed it. All I can say is never give up, always chase your dreams however far they feel.

If anyone finds him or herself in this situation, just as I never lost hope of seeing my dad even though my mum continually made me feel like he can be dead, they should also have hope and above all pray.

And in the right time, what is called that wish will come through.

I'm Asantewaa, a brave and wise lady behind this true story and situations have made me very strong. Thank you